明知

明知看了會生氣的，

不要看──

只看喜歡的。

女人說的九句話

朋友傳給我的，我不譯成中文了。女友看了後大笑，男的看了沒反應。

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. (這個是男女適用，說的人及聽的人身分倒轉即可)
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say “you’re welcome’”. That will bring on a “whatever”).
8. Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!
9. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking “What’s wrong?” For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

百歲人組

A和B，加上我，現在，已過了一百歲了。

當年，我和A悶極無聊，我先脫下鞋襪。

A問我搞什麼鬼。

我提議：「不如我們用腳趾猜包剪揼(剪刀石頭布)。」

A二話不說，也脫掉鞋襪，跟我坐在地板上玩。

B見我們玩得興起，走過來看。我們叫B一起來玩。

B驚叫：「你兩個人幾十歲，竟然玩這種白痴遊戲﹗」

現在，我猜A仍會跟我玩這種白痴遊戲；B，則會繼續說我們倆白痴。